no one can find the rewind button, girl. so cradle your head in your hands

I love how people are always just like "if you aren't happy with yourself, just change." they obviously don't know how hard changing yourself is. mainly because all of my problems aren't just psychical, even though psychical change is really hard to accomplish as well. my mom wants me to take some kind of leadership course or something so that I can learn how to be more social. i dont think the problem is really my social skills, because i'm very social with certain people who i actually care about... it's the rest of the world. some people think that i'm a snob because i wont talk to them but it isnt that. it isnt like I dont WANT to connect with people, i do. it's just other people and not coming off as an awkward mess. i think the problem is self confidence, but if i can't be more social without self confidence and I'm not social enough to build self confidence... what the hell am i suppose to do?