my mom is sick. like hospital sick. apparently it's fatal sooner or later. can we all pray for later, please?

and I'm going to Chicago in 9 days. what bad timing.

I think when you have a blog, you start to realize how your life seems really pointless and always on repeat. I try to think about things to blog about, but never have like an amazing story or event happen in my life to actually write about. So instead, I get these really lame and emo blogs about how I'm 'broken' or some shit. And it's very hard to be witty when you have no material to be witty about. But like what do you want? Me to write stuff like "yeah so.. my 'friends' didnt call me again and i sat at home on my laptop all night"? like sad to say but that is what my life has came to. I really dont care, it brings me happiness but I just feel used. And I hate feeling used.

I want to be what you always needed, then I hope you'll see the heart in me

Jesse McCartney lied to me. Who the fuck wants a 'beautiful soul' when everyone is always like 'OMG STACEYYYY YOU ARE THE NICEST PERSON IVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.' And then LOOK. It's just ridic because I feel as if I'm in this stupid rut that is never gonna change and i have no one to save me. Well fuck life.